jess (jess_is_here) wrote,

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summer is so close it's killing me. i can't find any motivation to do work. i find myself stressing out over everything i have to do, yet somehow always finding a way to avoid it. today started out frighteningly unproductive (my head still hurt a bit) but ended up okay. i got seven and a half pages of my actor's notebook done, which feels like a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. i'm just worried about this week and next weekend because i will be rehearsing the entire time. there is so much to do and not enough time nor motivation to do it.

nothing all that exciting has been happening lately. a lot of rehearsal, a lot of coughing and sickness, a lot of mood swings (which, as i found out, is normal. the average teenager has sixty mood swings a day. this number seemed excessive when i first heard it, but if the average teenager is awake for maybe fifteen to eighteen hours a day, that's only three to four per hour, which actually seems reasonable. okay, that was a tangent). i've been hanging out with lindsay a lot, which has been awesome. i feel bad about being such a bad guest last night though. narcotics anonymous meetings are interesting and i actually enjoy them, although i feel like an intruder there. like the guy from fight club. oh well, we get to make haiku's during the breaks and i have a key chain that says "just for today".

i need to find a job or something to do for this summer. i want to do something interesting, but i'm sure i'll end up bored out of my mind. there's so much i want to do/have to do/want to go this summer, i think i need to make a list.

this entry had no real point but to kill time because i'm not really tired yet.

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