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Posted on 2004.12.28 at 19:44
Mood: discontentdiscontent
Music: ch-ch-changes. time may change me, but i can't change time
back from nyc. quite eventful, but i don't feel like going into my trip in a huge amount of detail...

good things about new york city:
-the sedwick family (i will admit a bias towards that side)
-seeing my grandma for the first time in ten years (long story, we are an argumentative bunch)
-seeing sarah (!!!) and staying up until 4am with her doing science experiments. so much fun.
-Avenue Q (hilarious!)

...and the bad:
-rats in the subway
-crazy taxi drivers
-17 degrees
-too crowded
-too big

so in conclusion: i love my family, i love sarah kstein, i love singing muppets, but i hate cold weather and overwhelming cities. i REALLY REALLY REALLY do not want to go over that way for school (which was a hot topic with the family, by the way. i can't even count the number of "oh, so you are in 11th grade now? where do you want to go to college"'s that were thrown our way! i suppose this is just the start of another year and a half of those questions and related ones. oh well, it's not like i would be able to avoid that anxiety anyway, as if it weren't already in my thoughts.

my mind has been going crazy lately. and yes, with it's occasional hyper-observant, over-analytical nature (specifially recently) i do feel justified referring to that part of my conscious as a separate entity. it's the type that keeps me up at night asking myself exacerbating questions about who i am and what i am going to do if(..) and why things just can't move faster and slower at the same time. i guess that's teenage angst in a nutshell though, and a manifestation of some unsatisfied, inadequate feeling i overdramaticize so consistently in this journal.

tomorrow will be productive? i hope so! (i'm sure it will be in some sense of the word. but as of now i am aiming for the academic, homework tackling type of productive.
...oh and i need something to do next summer. i think i want something writing oriented. i don't care about higher test scores or ap math and science classes. when it comes right down to it, i am a book club participating, lit mag reviewing, staying up late reading, literature loving, wishing i could write more-ing type of gal and i guess summer would be a perfect time to pursue that interest. we will just have to see about costs i guess.

i haven't swam in almost a week. i can't wait to get back in tomorrow. i don't care about the rain. this weather is lovely compared to new york!


glorypearl at 2004-12-29 05:34 (UTC) (Link)
You're such a great writer Jessie, and the only writing of yours I've read is your LJ entries!
jess_is_here at 2004-12-29 06:28 (UTC) (Link)
aww thanks glory! my lj entries are usually somewhat non-sensical, but i'm glad you think they are well written! i guess i do have my eloquent moments..lol.
but yeah, it's something i've always been interested in, but never really had time for.
anyway..how are you? i haven't seen you/talked to you forver! i hope all is well and that you're holidays were happy!
chocolate_horse at 2004-12-29 20:02 (UTC) (Link)
I feel the same way about wanting to write and not having time. (I started a story once, but only got about 10 pages done before certain things (history mc) interfered.)

I'm glad you got to see your family and your friend in nyc.
hydrant at 2004-12-29 20:34 (UTC) (Link)
get ready for em:

where do you want to go to college?
where are you applying?
where did you get in?
where are you going?
when do you leave?
hows college?
chocolate_horse at 2004-12-29 21:33 (UTC) (Link)
oh great :(
jess_is_here at 2004-12-29 23:18 (UTC) (Link)
oh man am i excited.
chocolate_horse at 2004-12-29 21:35 (UTC) (Link)
your little paragraph about writing inspired me to write 2 more pages in my story!
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