jess (jess_is_here) wrote,

i'm so tired. too many papers/work due this week (during minisemester? i know, how cruel) + swim meet this weekend + second semester starting tomorrow = jessie lacks on sleep. american idol tonight will make me happy though.

right now i'm at my mom's new house. i'm so excited about my new room. i haven't gotten much yet and i'm not quite sure how i'm going to decorate it, but it will be fun. i went to ikea the other day to get some stuff...oh my god that place is like a museum! it has a food court and everything. never in my life have i seen anything like it. everything there is also amazingly inexpensive, and you know how excited i get about good deals. i got a waste basket for 99 cents.

this weekend i went to an invitational meet, meaning everyoneo there was super fast. quite a humbling experience. it also made me realize how happy i am that i'm not an extordinary swimmer (that's not to say i'm horrible) and that im not on a super serious team. that would just be too much stress and too many expectations, and i like doing swimming just for fun. sure, i could bulk up and get really into competition, but everyone who i talk to on orinda who is really serious about it says that they never have time to study, and that all of the fun has been sucked out of swimming.

friday i went to the dance. um..can someone please remind me never to go to a dance again? i always say that it will be my last time, but then i never have anything better to do. but yeah, that was not fun, and i had like no one to hang out with. last night i went to the hobbit thing (although i wasn't officially invited). it was amusing, but not hobbity enough. people should have dressed up!

i don't understand why i wasn't invited to alex's goodbye dinner. wasn't i there when we were talking about going out on saturday? do people just not like me or do they not think i'm good enough friends with them to do stuff with them? please don't tell me i'm a tag along...i feel pretty included at school but on the weekends the phone barely rings. maybe my expectations are just too high, and i don't want to make any more of a big deal about it because i know i'll just hear some lame excuse like "we could only make reservations for a limited number of people. i'd rather just someone be honest and let me know if they really want to be friends. (this isn't just based on saturday). i don't want to spend another year and a half being "friends" with people if they think i'm annoying, or bitchy or if they just don't care.

on another note i think i'm going on the europe trip over february break! i'm kind of nervous but excited too.

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