February 23rd, 2005


do you ever have days where you close your eyes for a second hoping that you will wake up?

last night should have been fun. i was with some of my favorite people, those who i probably could never be pissed at in normal life, but everything was really pissing me off. i do not like bad highs, but it could only be expected i guess.

i really dislike being at my dad's house. the only interaction i have with him is him bothering me about something. both he and my mom has this uncanny way of making me feel like i'm a bad person if i don't get madder at myself than they are at me, for whatever i do wrong and they've been sucessful lately. yesterday morning i couldn't even stand to be in my house with him, so i just went driving in the hills for like an hour. i felt kind of emo. or maybe just lonely? i don't know, it was better than staying at home and listening to my dad bitch.

on a brighter note, today should be good. after taking cassi to school i am going out to fairfield to see the one and only phan tea ivy. i expect some good reminiscing of our coldelizabeth, mr. chisari, chietnamewish days. the drive will be worth it, partly because i miss that girl, partly because sitting around the house alone is bound to get me thinking.

sorry for the complaints. i've been in a bit of a rut lately. happens every now and then.
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