December 28th, 2004

peanuts

(no subject)

back from nyc. quite eventful, but i don't feel like going into my trip in a huge amount of detail...

good things about new york city:
-the sedwick family (i will admit a bias towards that side)
-seeing my grandma for the first time in ten years (long story, we are an argumentative bunch)
-seeing sarah (!!!) and staying up until 4am with her doing science experiments. so much fun.
-Avenue Q (hilarious!)
-presents!

...and the bad:
-COLD!
-rats in the subway
-crazy taxi drivers
-17 degrees
-too crowded
-snow
-too big

so in conclusion: i love my family, i love sarah kstein, i love singing muppets, but i hate cold weather and overwhelming cities. i REALLY REALLY REALLY do not want to go over that way for school (which was a hot topic with the family, by the way. i can't even count the number of "oh, so you are in 11th grade now? where do you want to go to college"'s that were thrown our way! i suppose this is just the start of another year and a half of those questions and related ones. oh well, it's not like i would be able to avoid that anxiety anyway, as if it weren't already in my thoughts.

my mind has been going crazy lately. and yes, with it's occasional hyper-observant, over-analytical nature (specifially recently) i do feel justified referring to that part of my conscious as a separate entity. it's the type that keeps me up at night asking myself exacerbating questions about who i am and what i am going to do if(..) and why things just can't move faster and slower at the same time. i guess that's teenage angst in a nutshell though, and a manifestation of some unsatisfied, inadequate feeling i overdramaticize so consistently in this journal.

tomorrow will be productive? i hope so! (i'm sure it will be in some sense of the word. but as of now i am aiming for the academic, homework tackling type of productive.
...oh and i need something to do next summer. i think i want something writing oriented. i don't care about higher test scores or ap math and science classes. when it comes right down to it, i am a book club participating, lit mag reviewing, staying up late reading, literature loving, wishing i could write more-ing type of gal and i guess summer would be a perfect time to pursue that interest. we will just have to see about costs i guess.

i haven't swam in almost a week. i can't wait to get back in tomorrow. i don't care about the rain. this weather is lovely compared to new york!
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