December 13th, 2004


why do i suck?

okay, so for anyone who thought that standardized tests were just an evil tool for asessing our math and verbal skills (or amount of money one has to spend on a prep class) i have found an unexpected skill that the SAT has kicked my ass on TWICE. carefulness and lack of spaciness. my experiences with taking the sat two weeks ago, and getting my psat scores this week have shown that i'm pretty good at the actual test content, but when it comes to filling in bubbles, I SUCK. i'm sure you all heard my story of filling in the wrong section on my sat last weekend, and when i looked over my score report this weekend i just hit my head and said "oh jessie". i ruined what could have been a really good score by getting one off on the bubbles for the critical reading (which i already thought was an evil section but now have even more contempt for) and did really badly on that section because of it!! the sad thing is i would have gotten all but one of those questions right had i just moved them up one number! oh man my spaciness really bites me in the ass sometimes. at least math was pretty good (although i should have done better i think, because the two mistakes i made, both on the non-m.c. part were so careless) and on writing skills i suprised myself (it was the only one which i actually did better on than last year, which is really sad. i think perhaps soph year was my peak and now i am coming back down). eh, whatever, it was only practice sort of. it just is so frustrating that because of my inability to work properly with an answer sheet i was one point away from the california cut off for national merit semi-finalist. oof, i shake my head at myself.

in other news i spent the whole weekend debating, and i am taking the morning off to recupertate from three days of interval training of the mind. (and by that i mean 1 hour of mad critical thinking and analysis, one or more hours of sitting in a cold room staring off into space, diong bio outlines [of which i got very few done] or playing ghosts, hearts, egyptian rat screw, or "crazy jews" with toven, li and priya). priya and i made it to semi-finals, and lost on a split vote in that round to some guys who had been doing debate for four years and therefore should not have been in novice. they were the only team that beat us though, so yay. at least we have a pretty trophy.

yes so that is my life as of now. this week is going to keel me because of the massive amount of pre-break homework i will have, and the fact that i am still behind from this weekend. i better get a move on some of this.
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what the fuck?!?!?! i am sooo pissed right now! phillip just called me and said that adriana's mom was taking her out of tutoring because she didn't want a teenager tutoring her child. she wants an adult. ummm okay i realize that most of the people at lsmp are adults but that does not mean that they are any better at tutoring than i am or that my heart isn't in it just as much! i was always a responsbible tutor, conducted fun and productive sessions and i know that adriana liked me! i don't understand this! phillip was really pissed off too, and said that he fought for me but it really looks like there is nothing we can do. im most worried about adriana not having a tutor. i mean her parents don't even speak english and she really needs help sometimes, especially with reading. how are they going to help her if they don't understand the freaking language?! agh im so confused but i really dont think this is my fault or that i did anything wrong. this is just her demented mother's prejudices or what not. phillip says she is probably not disclosing something, but i don't know. i thought something had been going on because just a few weeks ago she told phillip that she didn't know if adriana could continue because her mom couldn't always take her to tutoring. then adriana just didn't show up for a while. maybe now this is really the truth? agh whatever.

so today i am starting with another girl. she is also in second grade and im excited to meet her. hopefully her mother will approve of me.
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1. Give me a new nickname and explain why you picked it.
2. Am I loveable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. When and how did we first meet?
5. What was your first impression?
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
7. What do you think my weakness is?
8. Do you think I'll get married?
9. What makes me happy?
10. What makes me sad?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. Who would you set me up with?
14. When's the last time you saw me?
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
16. Do you think I could kill someone?
17. Describe me in one word.
18. What is my most annoying trait?
19. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
20. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
21. If there were a movie about my life, who would play me?
22. Who would play you in the movie about my life?
23. Who is my hero?
24. Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you