August 27th, 2003

peanuts

(no subject)

I'm bored out of my mind and I feel like shit. I swear, I cannot spend another day just trying to past the time in this house, i'm going crazy.
..of course I'll probably end up just dicking around again tomorrow.

I really have nothing interesting to say. I just need something to do. I've realized that I really never have that much to say unless it's complaining or trashing people. I mean, I know everyone does that to a certain extent but sometimes I feel like it's the only way I can really connect with people. If I spoke my mind all the time I guess I would feel too exposed. As fun as it is to be a bitch and trash people I think I might do it too much. I say mean things about people who I absolutely love, and I really don't think that's being a very good friend. I'm sure that they do it to me too...I think it's kind of a teenage girl's nature, but still...I know that there are a lot of things that people could say about me which I always accuse others of or use against them.

That said, I can pretty much guarentee that my hipocrasy and cynicism won't decrease. I'll just work on trying to have more interesting conversations I guess?

oh yeah, and by the way, I'm getting the flu. I don't know who gave this to me or how I got it, but I definitely am not happy. I feel crappy.