My Brown essay is 1,045 characters too long and those characters are not going away. What to do!
edit: I now only have 325 characters to cut. By the time I'm through with this essay, it will be lifeless.
edit v2.0: I got it down under 3,500 characters. I hate it.
In other news, technology analyst Ian Pearson has proposed placing computer chips in breast implants so that one boob holds and MP3 player and the other one carries a woman's entire music collection. That is both creepy and fascinating at the same time.