believe in me because i don' believe in anything and i want to be someone who believes.
summer needs to start being more fun. or maybe i just need to start letting myself have more fun, letting myself be happier. i feel like i'm still waiting for my summer to start, but wasting it at the same time. i don't really know what to do with myself, but just sitting at home all day, waiting for swim practice or someone to call is not doing me any good. it should be better once my job starts next week (by the way, i met with my boss today and HE CANNOT CONTROL THE VOLUME OF HIS VOICE, i was quite startled when he first greeted me). at least then i'll have something to pass the time.
i want to have fun but nothing seems to really do that recently. getting fucked up every night isn't really my thing, and i feel like i've just been bitchy or distant from almost everyone lately, and just plain sick of everything. sorry if i've been like this to you, it's my shit and it doesn't have to do with you. i'm not really sure what's going on, or why i'm doing this but i hope i get over it soon. it's too familiar.
i'm so melodramatic and whiny, but i guess it doesn't make this feeling any less legitimate.