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peanuts

oh how i love craigslist best of...

Posted on 2005.05.06 at 18:59
I am looking for me someone to love as much as I love Jesus, but obviously in a different way.

Since Jesus has been in my life I have found nothing to be impossible. I can do everything and anything. Except for the NYTimes crossword puzzle (Jesus can only help me so much).

I am looking for a woman ready to bear somewhere between 5-10 children. I will always work, always paint the house, water the lawn, and even cook sometimes. I just ask that you dust because I am allergic.

I am 5'11 with brown hair, slight build, no tatoos, one birthmark that looks like Jay Leno on my right buttocks (so I'm told). I have had sex before but it was with a woman who said awful things that made me cry. I do not like to make love again unless its for children. Oh the things she said and the way she took the lords name improper. Just bad dirty!!

I would like you to be yourself as God mad you and Jesus supervised. You can wear hats if you choose. I don't mind a stutter if you have one. Don't be a blinker though. I don't like when people blink too much or squeeze their eyes. I feel like they don't want to SEE JESUS. Sorry I got excited.

I would like to know when you found Jesus and where you found him.

I would like to know your favorite non-confrontational television broadcast and what snack you eat while watching it.

Please email me and I can take you out for a meatball parmigiana, my favorite (you can eat whatever you want but I'll be eating that).

Bless you.

Comments:


S
_august at 2005-05-07 02:09 (UTC) (Link)
omg, what is a "non-confrontational television broadcast?" a live feed from some local quaker meeting?

just bad dirty!
K Love
bound_to_ramble at 2005-05-07 03:56 (UTC) (Link)
hot damn!! sounds like my kindof MAN!!!
oscrew at 2005-05-07 05:02 (UTC) (Link)
"favorite non-confrontational television broadcast"

!!!
ex_mirages347 at 2005-05-07 20:55 (UTC) (Link)
was that all one person? cause at first i thought it was 8 different ads? i want to meet them! actually, maybe not. but id be funnnnnyyy.
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