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peanuts
Posted on 2004.12.28 at 19:44
Mood: discontentdiscontent
Music: ch-ch-changes. time may change me, but i can't change time
back from nyc. quite eventful, but i don't feel like going into my trip in a huge amount of detail...

good things about new york city:
-the sedwick family (i will admit a bias towards that side)
-seeing my grandma for the first time in ten years (long story, we are an argumentative bunch)
-seeing sarah (!!!) and staying up until 4am with her doing science experiments. so much fun.
-Avenue Q (hilarious!)
-presents!

...and the bad:
-COLD!
-rats in the subway
-crazy taxi drivers
-17 degrees
-too crowded
-snow
-too big

so in conclusion: i love my family, i love sarah kstein, i love singing muppets, but i hate cold weather and overwhelming cities. i REALLY REALLY REALLY do not want to go over that way for school (which was a hot topic with the family, by the way. i can't even count the number of "oh, so you are in 11th grade now? where do you want to go to college"'s that were thrown our way! i suppose this is just the start of another year and a half of those questions and related ones. oh well, it's not like i would be able to avoid that anxiety anyway, as if it weren't already in my thoughts.

my mind has been going crazy lately. and yes, with it's occasional hyper-observant, over-analytical nature (specifially recently) i do feel justified referring to that part of my conscious as a separate entity. it's the type that keeps me up at night asking myself exacerbating questions about who i am and what i am going to do if(..) and why things just can't move faster and slower at the same time. i guess that's teenage angst in a nutshell though, and a manifestation of some unsatisfied, inadequate feeling i overdramaticize so consistently in this journal.

tomorrow will be productive? i hope so! (i'm sure it will be in some sense of the word. but as of now i am aiming for the academic, homework tackling type of productive.
...oh and i need something to do next summer. i think i want something writing oriented. i don't care about higher test scores or ap math and science classes. when it comes right down to it, i am a book club participating, lit mag reviewing, staying up late reading, literature loving, wishing i could write more-ing type of gal and i guess summer would be a perfect time to pursue that interest. we will just have to see about costs i guess.

i haven't swam in almost a week. i can't wait to get back in tomorrow. i don't care about the rain. this weather is lovely compared to new york!

Comments:


Glory
glorypearl at 2004-12-29 05:34 (UTC) (Link)
You're such a great writer Jessie, and the only writing of yours I've read is your LJ entries!
jess
jess_is_here at 2004-12-29 06:28 (UTC) (Link)
aww thanks glory! my lj entries are usually somewhat non-sensical, but i'm glad you think they are well written! i guess i do have my eloquent moments..lol.
but yeah, it's something i've always been interested in, but never really had time for.
anyway..how are you? i haven't seen you/talked to you forver! i hope all is well and that you're holidays were happy!
xoxo
jess
Elizabeth
chocolate_horse at 2004-12-29 20:02 (UTC) (Link)
I feel the same way about wanting to write and not having time. (I started a story once, but only got about 10 pages done before certain things (history mc) interfered.)

I'm glad you got to see your family and your friend in nyc.
K
hydrant at 2004-12-29 20:34 (UTC) (Link)
get ready for em:

where do you want to go to college?
where are you applying?
where did you get in?
where are you going?
when do you leave?
and
hows college?
Elizabeth
chocolate_horse at 2004-12-29 21:33 (UTC) (Link)
oh great :(
jess
jess_is_here at 2004-12-29 23:18 (UTC) (Link)
oh man am i excited.
Elizabeth
chocolate_horse at 2004-12-29 21:35 (UTC) (Link)
your little paragraph about writing inspired me to write 2 more pages in my story!
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