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peanuts

this the writing of hte whiner's bio.

Posted on 2005.12.12 at 15:55
Mood: stressedstressed
Boy, do I need this! I'm super stressed out (hence the fact that I am procrastinating by updating my journal).

Name 5 of life's simple pleasures that you like most. Try to be original and creative and not to use things that someone else has already used.

1. The feeling I get right after I work out-where I'm all energized and feel super strong and accomplished.
2. Sitting by the heater, wearing sweatpants, and reading while eating honey-nut cheerios.
3. Driving around in the hills and looking at the view. Even better if it's with a friend, at sunset and my car smells like peach blunt wraps.
4. Successfully parallel parking on the first try.
5. Accomplishment, in any sort of way (doing well in debate, finish a piece of writing, understanding a difficult concept, beating Greg at Cromonauts, etc.)


Speaking of which, I really want to know if Lisa got into Brown! I know it's really none of my business, and I will be really happy for her if she does (I do think she deserves it!), but I can't deny that what's really driving my curiosity is envy and competition. The two of us have always been competitive, and I'm super jealous of her, so if she gets in this will just be one more contributor to all of that negativity between us. I'll also probably put a million times more pressure on myself to get into Brown. Ugh, I really should just let go and see what happens, but seriously, that's not very Jessie-like (not that that I'm excusing myself or justifying my feelings!). Man, I just wish I had applied early. Then I would know right now whether or not I was accepted, and in the very slight chance of my getting in, I would have to stress irrationally about all of this shit anymore! Now I still have almost four months of waiting. Man, this is so stupid. Stressing isn't going to do anything. That doesn't seem to really stop me though!

Other stress factors include the massive amounts of homework I have this week. Oh joy.

Comments:


Elizabeth
chocolate_horse at 2005-12-13 00:57 (UTC) (Link)
everyone's competitive, so don't worry about it too much. usually if you're jealous of someone, they're just as jealous as you.

also, applying early isn't always a good idea... yeah, you find out sooner, but sometimes where you want to go changes between october and may.
jess
jess_is_here at 2005-12-13 01:12 (UTC) (Link)
yeah, that was pretty much my reasoning for not applying early, and i still think i made the right choice. (haha, i refer to this like it's a such a big decision, even though i know it's really not such a massively important choice). it would just make life a whole lot easier right now.
ex_mirages347 at 2005-12-13 03:58 (UTC) (Link)
i love that after work out feeling!!!!!!!!!

im sorry youre so stressed. this week basically sucks.
jess
jess_is_here at 2005-12-13 04:17 (UTC) (Link)
asfgk; i know. i'm feeling a bit better now though. i just can't wait until winter break. then I can't wait for early April. haha.
Greg D
lothain at 2005-12-13 04:06 (UTC) (Link)
Oh, only one time you beat me...
jess
jess_is_here at 2005-12-13 04:16 (UTC) (Link)
and it won't be the last!!!

oh, that was a glorious moment for me!
staticsoliloquy
staticsoliloquy at 2005-12-13 06:03 (UTC) (Link)

you'll be fine =)

It's funny how things turn out to be. The 1st ranked at my school goes to BU (didn't even apply to HYPSMC). The 2nd ranked attends UCLA (got rejected from Caltech, MIT, Stanford). Keep your head up and know that you'll be happy no matter what.

Looking back on my experience, what I learn from it, and if I have any advice to give to you guys who are in the midst of your process, it would be: life continues regardless.

I remember being in your situation last year. Although it's easy for me to say now, I stressed out way too much. Although I really like it here--the people are friendly, there's lots of work but it's definitely bearable, and the weather is nice--I've realized Stanford isn't any different than any other place that you'll go.

I guess the main thing that stressed me out was that I thought of the college selection process is a make-or-break thing, and that the college that you go to is the culmination of all of your hard work in high school. That's really not true. If you're good enough to have a shot at going to Stanford, then what you take from high school is what will contribute to your success in later life. All the organizational skills and drive that you've had to develop to succeed is so much more important than the name "Stanford." And, if you keep working in college like you did in high school, then you'll do as well as a Stanford graduate. To put it another way, if you're really overqualified and don't get into Stanford you will probably succeed, just as how someone who's really underqualified and gets into Stanford will probably fail.

And most importantly, I've realized that biking through the quad every day doesn't make me a happier person that I was in high school. Ultimately, your college experience depends on you. If you're a friendly person, you'll make a lot of friends and have fun in college. If you're sullen and unhappy all the time, you'll probably be sullen and unhappy no matter where you go (really, life is just determined by how you perceive it).

In short, getting into Stanford or Brown probably won't affect your life nearly as much as you think it will. What affects your life is who you are, and odds are if you're in a position to stress out over the admissions decision, you got your shit together and are going to do well regardless.
Elizabeth
chocolate_horse at 2005-12-13 06:23 (UTC) (Link)

Re: you'll be fine =)

that is such good advice! i'm in the middle of applying to colleges, and it was definitely helpful to hear that.
jess
jess_is_here at 2005-12-13 07:47 (UTC) (Link)

Re: you'll be fine =)

Thanks darling! I definitely understand what you are saying, and know it's true. I preach that whole attitude a lot more than I practice it myself. I know, ratoinally, that my college experience will ultimately be what I make of it, regardless of where I go, and that I shouldn't put a whole lot of self worth in the admissions process. Even for overacheivers like you and me, (and especially for people like you and me) high school has been about a lot more than working hard and getting into college, although it is/will be nice to see it pay off in a tangible way. I don't really know what I'm saying, except thanks so much for the advice! Sometimes I just lose sight of all of this with all of the stress and hype, especially when it seems like everyone around me seems to stressing over the same things. It's refreshing to hear a different, more retrospective opinion!

Right now one of the things that's really getting to me is the fact that I know everything is going to change next year, but I still don't know where I'll be! I'm so bad at being patient.
cassofrass at 2005-12-13 15:15 (UTC) (Link)
oh sister.
i must say, and i mean this in the least corruptive/ most dirty-hippy-who-just-wants-to-spread-the-love-and-see-everyone-happy way possible, you really need to get high.

when you need a break form homework come knock on my door and we'll drive around in the hills and smoke a blunt rolled with a peach optimo and life will be beautiful.
jess
jess_is_here at 2005-12-13 15:22 (UTC) (Link)
over break some jessie-cassi-marijuana bonding will indeed take place!
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